Looking For A Girlfriend Or Childcare? – Single Fathers
This post is also available in: Deutsch (German)
Raising a child can be a challenge for everybody, but especially for single parents it’s a bit harder to organize the day around work and kids. In those times they are looking for someone like an Au Pair to help them to take care of their children, so mommy and daddy can go to work to actually afford a living for the kids.
Of course there can be severe problems with the other parent or maybe there has even been a tragedy and that’s why the parent is living alone with the kids. So here there are, all alone with them. The parent has to bring them to school and pick them up, give them a ride to other activities and spend some quality time with them. But at the same time the family needs money, so the parent has to stick to a work schedule. The little ones should also have a role model and a person they can go to if anything is bothering them and they need a hug.
Although men usually want to be strong and tough, they can be struggling in that exact situation as a father and think about getting an au pair.
An Au Pair is an Au Pair, that’s it!
Even a single dad can’t be superman and needs some help in the household and with the kids. Just as other parents he will register on a website like AuPair.com, create a profile and look for a young women that will help him with the kids. Of course it does not count for all single dads, but some of them are trying to find a new mother for their kids at the same time. They could use the time of having an Au Pair to go out and meet someone once in a while. Someone who is not their child caregiver. Unfortunately they tend to look for the girls that they find attractive on the website and let them know, that they can not only imagine them to be their au pair.
Yes, there are very beautiful girls registered on those websites. They probably know that they are pretty, but they do not need a single father to tell them how beautiful and attractive they are. The look of an au pair doesn’t play a role at all. Of course she should shower and take care of herself, but anything else is not relevant. There doesn’t have to be compliments for the nice shaped body, the beautiful smile, the long legs. They do not want to know what that single man would like to do with them.
What an Au Pair wants to do
An au pair wants to go to another country, explore the world, meet new people their age and take care of children, because this is what they have been doing in past and this is what they are good at. They want to feel safe with a host family and they want to be a part of the family. But they do not want to be a mother to the kids. The au pair is usually between 18 and 26. They are young and have some plans for their lives and probably even plans for after their au pair stay.
The messaging system of websites like AuPair.com is secure and safe for all users. It brings safety to families and au pairs. This is why conversations should stay on those websites. Au Pairs should not be asked to talk on WhatsApp or Facebook or any other platform. Of course a call on Skype is necessary, but as long as there is not real trust between those two parties, the conversation should stay on the website.
Dear single dad…
…you might think that your tactics of how to find a girl that could be more to you than only an au pair are very smart. But unfortunately they aren’t because au pairs can still report you to the admins of the website, publish screenshots of your messages in Facebook groups to warn others or even report you to the authorities, which could result in a refusal for you to have an au pair at all. You do not need many different pictures of an au pair, with make-up, without make-up, portrait, whole body, half body pictures.
A single dad can find a woman somewhere else, but the au pair should be an au pair and nothing else. If the au pair hits on you, you should refuse and let her know that her behavior is inappropriate.
And if you can’t handle a young girl living with you, you might want to consider inviting a male au pair.