Sometimes an au pair has a hard time getting the kids under control. Your kids can behave totally different with you, but just as with grandma and grandpa or aunt and uncle, the kids try to explore their borders with the new au pair.
They provoke, they overdo it, they might even insult or hit the au pair. Of course the own children are angels in the eyes of the parents and it’s hard to admit that the children might have a problem getting used to someone who is new in the family.
Your children are no angels
As much as you want to believe that your children behave the exact same way with the au pair as they do with you, you have to realize that they don’t. They are testing their borders, so they won’t listen to the au pair immediately only because you told them to. They might yell at the au pair and convince the new family member that they are allowed to do certain things, although they are not. Watching TV right after school? You probably have a rule for that. Note that your kids will tell the au pair something different and bother her/him with the question to watch TV for quite some time. The au pair, new to the whole situation might give up at some point, because she or he will be confused what is right. If she/he has understood something that you explained the wrong way, because, not only is she/he new to the situation, but also new to the language, there might be misunderstandings.
So when your au pair is sitting at the kitchen table in the evening, when you come back from work and she/he talks to you about her/his day and how hard it was with the children, be understanding. The au pair that is totally new to the family won’t have a reason to lie to you about your kids. It is possible that your kids have done something wrong, so get your kids, ask them about what happened, and make them apologize to the au pair. Do not start the au pair relationship with not trusting or believing her/him. Make her/him feel understood and welcome.